Regina George is a Lesbian

*Spoilers Ahead* Although, if you don’t know the main plot of Mean Girls gtfo.

In light of Reneé Rapp’s queer rendition of Regina George in the new Mean Girls Musical movie, I decided to re-watch the original 2004 film just to come to the conclusion that our beloved queer icon is in fact a lesbian.

Undeniably c*nty and timeless, Rachel McAdams perfectly embodies this role. I think anybody could agree with that. From taking over her parents’ bedroom and somehow pulling off a side part, to refusing to entertain any sort of abrasive male presence, Regina George is winning the idgaf war. And sure, she seems to be a little more than friendly with Aaron Samuels, the film’s male love interest, but are we truly meant to become completely blind to her villain origin story with Janis? Did Tina Fey really expect us to believe that someone could be genius enough to turn into Susan from Planned Parenthood just to defend a friend while simultaneously being straight? As someone who doesn’t love jumping to conclusions (most of the time) let’s take a look at the facts.

First: (and let’s get this one out of the way now). I don’t care what anyone says, and I really don’t care how the original Mean Girls movie ended. Janis Ian is a lesbian. She is not queer-coded. Your honor, “That b*tch is gay” – Pretty Girls by Reneé Rapp.

It makes complete sense that Regina would feel threatened by Janis, and therefore work to make her life miserable. Now this is not at all excusing Regina’s bad behavior but providing a possible explanation. A messy past relationship perhaps? The fear of her sexuality being put on blast?

Second: Regina George is known for her pronounced fashion choices. Even when Janis sabotages her wardrobe, she turns boob-cut-out tank tops into the next best thing, and no person makes bold fashion strokes like the queer girl you used to go to high school with. I know you know exactly who I’m talking about. She probably goes to an all-girls university in the mountains. Definitely in Colorado, Massachusetts, North Carolina, or Washington State. She ofc is constantly posting soft launches of her girlfriend even though everybody already knows they’ve been together for months. She’s probably holding coffee or matcha or something and wearing a ring on a chain as a necklace. You either remember her as the sweetest girl ever or a fugly sl*ut. Either way, we all want to be her.

Third: Nobody is more motivated than a lesbian. In Mean Girls, Regina leaves North Shore High in flames with her burn book ploy – she watches the “world burn” you might say – and does it all with a pink handbag and matching belt. Enough said.

Fourth: At the film’s conclusion, Regina learns to channel her anger through sports, finding peace on the girls’ lacrosse team. In other words, she finds happiness in touching girls all day! It’s giving PJ and Josie from Bottoms starting a fight club just to get some. Real.

Finally, before y’all come at me calling this bi erasure, allow me to defend myself. No person makes that much of an effort to absolutely OWN a school. We love a sex-positive bisexual / straight girl duh, but every hook-up Regina has with a man is clearly done to maintain school-wide domination. Stop looking at everything with a closed mind! Be an ally! Agree with me!

Now, I have not yet seen the new film adaptation from Mean Girls on Broadway, but of course I have engaged in extensive Reneé Rapp research. If Rapp herself says Regina is queer, then fact it must be. Receipts included don’t worry…

So, there you go! The evidence is all there, and I rest my case. That is, unless somebody disagrees. Then, b*tch, I’m ready to fight.

Now, GET IN LOSER! We’re going to see Mean Girls Musical in theaters because I just love gay stuff!